Friday, June 23, 2006PleasantvilleMaltshop Guy: What's outside of Pleasantville?David: Oh, it doesn't matter. Maltshop Girl: What's outside of Pleasantville? [pause] David: There are some places that the road doesn't go in a circle. There are some places where the road keeps going. Maltshop Girl: Keeps going? David: Yeah, yeah. It just keeps going. It all keeps going. I wrote one of these lines down the other night while watching Pleasantville. "There are some places that the road doesn't go in a circle. There are some places where the road keeps going." I was thinking about how, in life, sometime you get on a road where it just keeps circling back on itself. Even with a lot of therapy, a lot of consciousness, a great deal of introspection... sometimes you get to the end of the path just to find yourself on its beginning again. In Pleasantville, the black-and-white town in the movie, there are two streets: Main and Elm. When you get to the end of Main you find yourself back at the beginning of it again. There's nothing outside of Pleasantville. And, until the events of the movie transpire, there's no need for anything outside of Pleasantville. Everyone stays on script. They do what's expected of them every moment and nothing... ever... changes. I like the idea of pleasantness. I like it very much. In my life with my ex-husband and his current girlfriend, I think I'm perceived as the Anti-Pleasant person. I have the potential to bring icky stuff up. I have the potential to cause conflict. They don't like that. And I don't blame them. I don't like ickiness or confrontation, either. But I seem to have the role of being the one who brings that into the mix. I keep myself as invisible as possible, but I still have that role. I believe to the core of my being that in order to make these roads in life GO somewhere, you have to be willing to have life not be pleasant every so often. As a dear friend said to me the other night, regarding a path of personal growth: "we're not in the business of being comfortable. Being comfortable is no longer part of our job description." I was married 16 years ago today. It was a great day and in many ways I was the happiest I've ever been for most of the eight years of the marriage. I look back on that feeling of being partnered with great wistfulness and nostalgia. Was it pleasant? Yes, in good ways. Did the road lead somewhere? Yes, for much of the time. I don't believe that being on the road that goes somewhere HAS to be unpleasant. It just has the potential to go off script from time to time. Things change. Upsets happen. Sometimes you get to a place where it just isn't clear what's expected any more. That's OK, I think. I will take my chances with improvisation and feeling adrift and occasional moments of just not knowing what's next. I want my road to go somewhere. There's a whole lot of world out there to see. # posted by Katherine Doughtie Nolan @ 10:42 AM  
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