Monday, November 21, 2005Being SmallI just need to get this off my chest.I am fucking tired of being small for people. I am tired of slowing down, waiting in the wings, slowing my pace. I'm about to fly to Europe with my kids. I will be brushing elbows with fellow travelers, people who speak multiple languages, have navigated through space, who take multiple perspectives in politics and life and love as a given. They are comfortable in the larger world. I like people like this, who travel in the world, who travel in their thoughts, who walk with large long strides. I am excited beyond words that I can introduce my children to this world, this larger world, this world where they, like me, are allowed to breathe and expand and grow and exalt. I like London and Paris and New York. They are cities that makes me feel small in comparison. I feel awe there. I marvel at the art of Paris, the majesty of London. I can aspire to New York. I can feed off its energy, rather than the other way around. I hate waiting around just because it makes people feel more comfortable around me. I hate seeming uncreative, unbrilliant, unsmart, just because it may make someone uncomfortable. And it's not that I'm always creative, brilliant and smart. It's just that keeping it small becomes a habit, and I hate that. I hate ratcheting my personality down to 10% just so people can feel less intimidated. Everyone has heard this quote, but I'm putting it in this blog because it says it so so well. Mariane Williamson, from "A Return to Love" . . . 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.' So there. I'm officially, publicly, sick of this shit. # posted by Katherine Doughtie Nolan @ 2:02 PM  
Comments: oh, my. it is well past about time for thursday burritos, non? find me when you're back from your great european adventure... # posted by  lorna : 12:22 AM
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