Saturday, November 27, 2010Viral MeditationThis is being written in a drug-induced haze. Not anything super fun. Just loads of over the counter stuff. "Tussin" (I love the generic names), Nyquil, Cold Away (chinese herbs which usually work great), acetaminophen, and albuterol (which imparts a nice speedy edge to the soporific effects of the other stuff). I'm also taking copious amounts of Vitamin D, and a whole variety of other Chinese herbs.I'm so locked down in the miseries of my body that I can hardly think. But, in some ways, that's not altogether a bad thing. I breathe from my mouth, I cough from my chest, my eyes water constantly. I am consistently and acutely aware of every present moment. This is what meditation is all about, I think in my haze. Present moment sensory awareness. I'm unable to construct a single delusional thought, so much so that I'm actually quite... well, calm. I wouldn't say happy. But stressing about the past and future is basically impossible when the present is so downright uncomfortable. I gaze out into the world through my red and scratchy eyes and think, OK. Whatever. It's neither good nor bad. It just is. And then I just concentrate on my breathing again. It's meditation. Forced on my by the viruses that must've found me somewhere at 38,000 feet or in some train in Boston or NYC. The bug has gotten inside of me and forced me to stop, or tried very hard at least. So, OK. I'm stopping. Or trying very hard. And in the meanwhile I'll focus on my rattling breath. And contemplate my present moment through my senses. And enjoy the freedom from any deep or worrisome thoughts. Whatever works. Frankly, I'd rather be in some excruciatingly expensive zendo being fed high end gourmet food and doing yoga all day, but... well... just imagining that is more difficult than it's worth. I'll take a sip of water. Feel it go down my scratchy throat. And then I'll see if I can breathe some more. # posted by Katherine Doughtie Nolan @ 12:00 PM  
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